The Woman Who Swallowed Her Cat And Other Gruesome Medical Tales

The Woman Who Swallowed Her Cat And Other Gruesome Medical Tales:
By Rob Meyers, M.D.
(ECW Press)

Listen, you’re either into this kind of thing or you aren’t. And if you’re still reading this after seeing the title of this book, my guess is that you are.

Imagine: Man versus lawnmower. Man versus chainsaw. Man shot to death by his dog. Man dies from literally eating shit. (This practice is known as coprophagia, so if anyone ever tells you to wipe that coprophagic grin off your face, you’ll know what he means.) And no book of freak medical cases would be complete without at least a couple cases of autoerotic asphyxiation, popularly known as death-by-masturbation.

Dr. Myers may not be the world’s greatest writer (though good enough for our purposes). But aside from its gross-out factor, this book also includes some very solid advice. In short:

1. Do not perform a circumcision on yourself, even if you follow the website’s directions explicitly;
2. Do not pour concrete up your ass;
3. Do not insert a dry piece of spaghetti up your urinary tract;
4. And girls, if you suspect you’re harboring a tiny alien in your left breast, call your doctor immediately.

Oh, and don’t drink and drive.