Love Arcade: Self-Titled

Love Arcade
Self-Titled
(East West)

Are you thirteen years old? Obsessed with pop music and/or boy bands and a general lack of depth in both music and lyrics? No?? Ah, well Love Arcade is not the band for you. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer stupidity of the lyrics that I actually began extensively researching the band–their website, myspace, and other reviews–just to see if this was some sort of joke album. Alas, no, the band apparently considers themselves legit–a terribly frightening concept.

The lyrics, by far, stand out as the absolute worst aspect of the album. But I suppose when you have lyrics like “The party’s finally started, and you’re on your way to party, Gonna drink and get retarded, and just hope I don’t get carded” it’s pretty obvious who the desired audience is. 21 and up need not apply–truthfully, 14 and up need not apply.

Nevertheless, I would not completely disregard a band for the lyrics alone. Fortunately, Love Arcade makes a pan review all the easier by having tired, overdone music to accompany their lyrics. Track eight, “Sweet Thing” is a nearly direct rip off from Queen’s bass line for “Another One Bites the Dust”, and to add insult to injury, “Sweet Thing” turns into one of those awful instructional dance songs (remember “the Cha Cha song?). And their voices–well, I certainly questioned whether or not they had been sucking on helium balloons immediately before recording. Buy this album if you’re a masochist.