Adam Green: Gemstones

Adam Green
Gemstones
(Rough Trade)

At first listen, it would be easy to assume that Adam Green is a good ol’ boy who grew up on a bizarre cocktail of Country and Western and Wurlitzer-organ sleazy lounge music. With filthy and at times nonsensical lyrics which do not bear repeating in this review and the upbeat accompaniment of The Gnomes, Green manages to turn stomachs and infect minds with catchy tunes which never quite come clean no matter how many brainwashing and de-programming sessions one attends. Yet, like other confusing musicians, Adam Green hails from Germany. At the very least, he should fare better than David Hasselhoff, just without the whole Baywatch thing. This is perhaps one of the few reasons why restrictive immigration and importation laws are a good thing. Perhaps the only redeeming quality of this album is its cheekiness, particularly in the song “Choke on a Cock,” where Green talks about wanting to shaking hands with George W. Bush and following that, commit the act depicted in the title of the song. This is one of the few occasions when this reviewer has been entirely incapable of listening to the album, not just putting it aside and saving the excruciating torment for later, but skipping through much of the album after hearing only the first minute of a song, ejecting it from the laptop and banishing it into the exile of the clutter drawer.